When one man lacks wit, it’s a disappointment but the issue is his. He is just a man but there is no crime in that. There is no crime in being boring. You don’t have to be intelligent and witty. My real issue with men is their arrogance. To believe in yourself so supremely, to be so confident in your dumb requests, to be so mind-boggling boring but also unaware of it—I simply cannot cope. So it’s not that I seek to persecute the non-witty fella. They search me out. They find me. But if it’s every man, if every man lacks wit and charm and awareness, then the problem does become mine. Because how do you find a man to have fun with in a world that tells the most boring of all the men that he’s worth something, that he has something to offer a woman on a dating app. I’ve asked it a hundred times, and I will ask it a hundred more—how do men who are so foolish and misguided and unaware and let’s face it, a goddamn snooze of a human who not only can’t volley the wit back at you, but doesn’t even get that you’re making a joke, how do these men not know? Has no one ever held up a mirror to their idiocy?
If I have to explain to one more man that proximity is not the key to my pussy, I might actually kill one of them. And then relocate. To another neighbourhood.
Women spend our lives apologizing for existing and this POS thinks I, a total stranger, want to help him achieve his greatest fantasy of receiving free sex work? Anyway, I’m looking to fulfil my fantasy of a man buying 50 copies of my book to hand out at every party or event he goes to. If you know any stranger’s who want to help me with that lol.
The worst part of this whole exchange is that he doesn’t get that I know. I know what he’s asking, I know what he’s doing. He thinks I’m a fucking idiot while being a fucking idiot. The audacity of men is insanity. Lock him away. Write hysteria under the diagnosis. I don’t understand how we ever let men run this world. The only role I’m interested in playing rich bitch you pay to experience the privilege of being in my presence.
petition to not allow men to speak until they know what words are
forgive me for saying this has got to be one of the stupidest human behaviours in history because if you have to ask for forgiveness from a stranger before you’ve even said anything, any idiot knows YOU SHOULDN’T SAY IT! Also, perhaps the craziest part of this is that he said this based on a picture where my nipples are behind black lace and are barely visible. Joshua, my dumb little sweetie, this is why you can’t have nice things. You should’ve just enjoyed your glimpse and used the opportunity to be interesting because now the very thing you’re so excited about is something you’ll never, ever see irl. Well done babe. Great work. No notes. *vomit emojis until character count has been reached*
Also, “No, I cum from clit stimulation [you fucking idiot]” is how I’ll be responding to any man asking or talking about his dick from now until death.
And every time a woman unmatches after one of the gawdawful interactions, you KNOW the dude is like: why don’t women like nice guys anymore? I don’t understand what’s wrong with the world.