I’ve been “seriously” dating on and off for over a decade now. One of the best parts of that length of time is that I’ve been dating so long that I’m keenly aware of how great dating apps used to be. One of the worst parts is I’m devastatingly aware of how much dating apps sucks now.
My theory is that the decline in dating app usability is 50% capitalism and gamification and 50% that most men are super stupid. Included in (but not limited to) that level of stupidity is the complete objectification of women (by the men who seem to think dating apps are menus for free sex work).
My question is why.
Why are you like this, bruh?
That phrase runs on repeat in my head as I scroll and engage with men on dating apps. I have been on the apps for fucking years, and still I haven’t a clue why men are like this.
It can’t possibly benefit them to behave this way.
Some women must respond positively people always tell me. But I’ve asked men. I’ve asked men a thousand times, after they’ve sent me stupid (my gawd the stupidest) messages. I’ve asked them if this normally works for them. They almost always say no. When they say yes, I pull at the thread and always find out that speaking this way works for them (in terms of the women responding) but they have some other (ego-protecting) reason that they don’t actually meet the women they’re messaging with. Ok bro, sure thing.
So if women don’t respond positively, why would they keep doing it? What kind of absolute fucking moron would you have to be keep being an idiot online and hoping for something different. Why wouldn’t you just be better, smarter, or at least nicer? Your guess is as good as mine babe. That said, until men get a fucking clue, I will continue to be my delightful and witty self online (whether they even get the joke or not).
I wonder if he owns a Dick’s Sporting Goods.
He’s not wrong about these DDelightful tittays but my gawd what an absolute tool. And don’t let me ever catch one of you blaming this shit on age because this mfer was 33 (going on 65 judging by his face).
Men are insane. I will not be elaborating.
The audacity it takes to offer the world nothing and still think women might want to offer you something is unfathomable.
I legit hate anyone who talks about squirting for 3 reasons:
It’s pee (and honestly that’s fine, the more you try to pretend it’s not pee, the more you’re just admitting that you have no problem contributing to the shaming of the very thing you wish you could enjoy shame-free. You are a part of the shame you feel. Just admit it’s pee and enjoy your orgasm. Grow the fuck up already).
It’s performative not pleasure based. Look, I’m all for anything that inceases either the quantity or quality of female pleasure, but no one talking about squirting is ever talking about that. They talk about it like squirting is some pinnacle of pleasure but they never actually say that. Squirting is treated as either a skill or a new level unlocked but not in terms of female pleasure. It’s always about how a man can make you squirt (as if he had some extra talent) or that you can squirt (akin to giving a great blowjob). No one telling other people that they “squirt” is talking about their pleasure, it’s always about ego and performance. And hey, if squirting is the hill you want to die on, I encourage you to start discussing it in terms of your pleasure. Be honest, be specific, and for fuck sake’s be honest.
It’s yet one more thing that women are expected to perform for men. I hate that men ask about it. I hate that men treat it like a fetish (while not calling it pee). I hate that men think they have even one more single inch of space to take up in sexual spaces as if they weren’t already filling up every molecule. A man speaking about his pleasure and/or desires before anyone has explicityly asked is fucking bonkers. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Your desires are already everywhere. The whole world (particualy marketing) operates around your desires. Even hookups (that aren’t explicityly about licking a woman’s pussy without expecting anything in return) are about men. Straight sex hookups are about male pleasure and they’re bullshit.
I will not be elaboarting and if you send me some bullshit “science” article about squirting that’s self-reported or only has 9 participants or whatever other way people love to skirt actual science, I will fucking block you on the spot.
I’ve never hoped someone eats the wrong wild mushrooms more in my life.
When I say that men are weak (of character) and fickle (as their fragile ego dictates) this is what I mean. The cognitive dissonance it must take to call yourself a “self-professed chubby chaser” in one sentence and then be a fatphobe in the next if fucking bonkers.
Sometimes I fantasize about men—being given accurate feedback on the bullshit they believe about themselves.