Dating Screenshots and Shenanigans 9
[trigger warning for one the screenshots: fatphobia/fat hate]
“I wasn’t trying”
“She wasn't worth the effort”
Men are always saying weird shit like this to me as a way to explain their behaviour online. I have to admit that I don’t quite understand the justification (or why they think it makes them sound redeemable in any way). It’s like running a race and then when you’ve lost the race, making an excuse like, “I just wasn’t feeling it today, so I didn’t really try.”
But like, babe, BABE!, be fucking serious for once.
Why did you even run the race at all if you didn’t feel like you could perform? The race was optional. Nobody forced you to run. Nobody forced you into the race. Making excuses for poor performance doesn’t make anyone think you can perform. It makes you sound like an absolute fucking baby (and nightmare to be around). Honestly, it makes you sound like a whiny little bitch (which let me tell you is not someone anyone wants to fuck). Just some food for thought.
Anyway, here are some men giving me their absolute best effort online. Please enjoy (my misery and their stupidity). Love ya’ll!
Seriously bro, this is you trying? Get bent. Do men think dating apps are for charity? I’m not fucking some loser just because he tells me he’s up for it lol men are insane.
I recently heard a clip where a man (a real bro’s bro surprisingly) was stating some serious truth about men who are hateful dipshits to women online. The gist of what he said (which isn’t new but deserves repeating) is that no man harassing women online with negative and hateful comments is doing good in life. And I know it doesn’t stop the comments, and it won’t slow the hate you may have to endure, but there is something sweet that takes the sting out of a stranger spewing hate at you in the knowledge that there is zero chance, I mean it, absolute zilch nada not one sliver of a possibility that that pathetic loser is thriving in life.
Sometimes I think I’m too hard on men because maybe he was just using a corny pickup line as a way to show me his skills at wordplay. hahahaha. That’s the kind of stupid undeserved empathy I have for men. The truth is that they never actually have the skills nor wit. A man skilled at wordplay would’ve offered me an apple (because I’m clearly a teacher) or made some other grade-related punning. He offered nothing (so we’ve decided to hold him back a year).
I know I’m always railing against men complimenting me unspecifically in initial messages (because a. it’s boring af b. there’s no good response that leads to conversation unless I’m carrying it and c. I already know). That said, in this one instance, I’ll tell you I swooned. I mean, have you ever had a bridge call you hot before? Me neither, but this one is getting framed and featured on my bedroom wall (at least until some train tracks tell me they want to rail me).
Honestly, fuck you to hell and back to have that goddamn face AND the confidence to bring up my fucking size. The overconfidence of men is psychotic. Also, you’re 50! You haven’t learned a fucking thing by 50?!?!? There’s no hope ya’ll. NO FUCKING HOPE.
Men are forever apologizing for the wrong thing, fixing the wrong missteps. Also please know I only correct grammar (etc.) to take men down a peg. I always spell vacuum wrong. I never double check a message before hitting send. I am a typo queen. But still, someone has to teach them.
Wow, I’m on a fucking roll! First a bridge and now a little puppy dog? I’m truly on fire with everyone and everything but men. Which seems fitting, tbh.
Shutting men down online is my higher calling. Crushing their dumb spirits when they can’t take a moment to remember I’m a person not a pussy is my baptism. The bar may be in hell but I’m doing just heavenly, baby.
Stay safe out there angels!
I said the same thing about his face 😂😂😂
Laughed out loud a few times at your responses.